About

I spent most of my twenties being the guy women called sweet. I answered texts within a minute, remembered which exam she had on Thursday, and once drove a girl I was crazy about to the airport at five in the morning so she could fly across the country to see someone else. I wasn't ugly, I wasn't broke, and I wasn't unlucky. I was doing something wrong, and nobody around me could tell me what it was.

So I started keeping notes. After every approach, every date, every time a woman went quiet on me, I wrote down what I'd said, what she did, and how it ended. For the first year it was mostly a record of failures, written by a guy who got a little more frustrated with every page. But the notebooks kept filling up, and somewhere in them a pattern became impossible to ignore: almost everything I had been taught would make a woman want me was exactly what made her lose interest.

A few years ago I gave my closest friend the best pages from those notebooks. He was where I had been at twenty, writing long paragraphs to a girl who answered with emojis. Within a few months he was the one she stayed up waiting for. Then he started using it for the wrong reasons, collecting attention like trophies and walking away the moment he had it, and we haven't really spoken since.

I'm telling you this because what's in this book works, and it works on real people with real feelings. It's fifteen years of those notebooks, cut down to the parts that matter. Use it to become the man she can trust, not the one her friends warn her about.

Julian Ashvere